Fear of Failure
Since July, when I started using the Empress Crow and Rabbit Lunar Calendar, I have set five dark moon intentions.
But I haven’t let go yet of the elephant in the room.
So it seems so very perfect what my last dark moon intention is for 2017.
This dark moon, I’m letting go of my fear of failure.
Did I really say that out loud?
This is a big one for me.
You see, I’m one of those annoying people who is naturally quite good at quite a few things.
I can catch a ball, I play a mean backhand volley in tennis, I can work a room while sober, and you already know I can stand up in front of a crowd.
But, as the years have worn on, I’ve become more resistant to trying things that could show me up as an inexperienced rookie.
Someone who doesn’t know all the steps.
In my mind, a failure.
So in all honesty, I don’t really try things unless I have quite a good chance at succeeding.
A few weeks ago, I applied for something I thought I had a good chance at – and I increased my chances by calling in the Brave big guns for help with my application.
I submitted it at 10.30pm when the cut off was midnight and felt that was a good omen – I’m usually so very late!
But my application was not successful.
I tried to comfort myself with the obvious truth of it all – there were over 1200 applicants so there was bound to be at least one person with a pitch better than mine!
But I was surprised how much it stung, and then how silly I felt for how much it stung.
I realised that I’ve been hiding behind my fear of failure for so long, that I haven’t been trying things that truly stretch me.
Things that really take me out of my comfort zone and have me scrambling at the edges of the cliff.
I’ve forgotten what it’s like to claw my way back up the cliff face, pick myself up and just keep trying.
But it’s more than that, I think.
It’s about cultivating a belief in myself and a belief that the work I do makes a difference, regardless of how many other people are doing that kind of work too.
It seems so obvious and natural when Zen Shin says it:
“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.”
So Empresses, I’m letting go of my fear of failure on Sunday 17th December.
I’m going to keep showing up.
I’m going to keep doing the work.
And while there will always be competitors, there will only ever be one of me.
And that’s enough to keep me going another year.
Menstrual Superpowers Leadership Coach
In 2016, after nearly 2 decades working in corporate, I created Empress Crow and Rabbit. Designed to celebrate the cycles (lunar, menstrual + seasonal) I also loved interviewing imaginative women in inspirational careers. Now, I'm a Life Coach + I support Corporate Wonder Women just like you, to explore + harness your own Menstrual Superpowers. When a client discovers her Menstrual Superpowers + plays to her strengths on these days, her corporate life + home life transform. She is more productive, more inspirational, more creative + more rested. Yup. All of it.
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Photo credit: Lucy Spartalis